I would like your thoughts on something I am trying to understand better. Please read this blog post, and email me back your thoughts IF you feel comfortable sharing with me. I will truly be grateful to you. Your response will be kept confidential. And if you feel comfortable sharing here, then please do so in the comments section.
When I went through immense sadness for years, I knew deeply how I felt, why I felt, what I felt. Anti-depressants did not work for me, and I suffered for years, till I took matters in my own hands, and took steps that helped me out of that deep pit. I can truly say I am happy now. Those are the tips I published in my blog sometime back.
However, I know everyone goes through this differently. The symptoms, emotions, behavior patterns, the reasons (or lack of them)…they can all be very different for different people. And I wish to understand this very deep sadness that many people feel. I want to see this from your point of view, so I am able help others better.
I have come to realize that our successes, relationships, how life itself turns out depends a lot on — whether we are happy or not. So I want to help more people achieve this.
Please tell me:
1. Have you ever dealt with deep sadness for very long periods of time? Or are you still dealing with it?
2. If you did, can you tell me what your thoughts were?
3. What did you do? I used to sleep a lot, stay on the couch as much as possible, didn’t feel like doing anything, and ate a lot.
4. Did you feel supported by the ones in your life?
5. What did you do to try to feel better? Did it work?
6. Tell me anything else you would like to share, or feel comfortable sharing. Anything that you feel will make me understand your situation better.
Write to me about you at info @ thepurpleflower. com (remove spaces), IF you feel OK about sharing with me…help me understand what you went through or are still going through. I have been there. I will not judge you. And anything you write to me will be confidential. And as I said before, if you feel comfortable sharing here, please write to me in the comments section.
I will truly be very grateful to you if you could help me understand this important topic better than I do now, by sharing with me your thoughts on sadness.
Much love,
Swati
PS: Here’s something about my free eBook on “How to See Auras”
Dear Swati: I have dealt with deep sadness for many years. But not now. What I discovered/uncovered was that in my innocence and naivete, I put expectations on people, places and things to make me happy. I simply followed the patterns and beliefs of my parents, grandparents, and others around me. It wasn’t until I went through many external shocks to my psyche that I learned a different way of thinking and being. Now I certainly can feel grief. But not the sadness that for me came from unrequited expectations of self and others.
Thank you Laura! That makes a ton of sense! Expectations from people does set us up for sadness, doesn’t it? Thank you, your response helps. Much love!
Thank you
I hope to share my sadness bit by bit
((((((hugs))))))
Love this…I will be back…Its like you read my mind
I was lost in a dark empty place for many years until I found that my creator created me to enjoy life and discover his many treasures on Earthh of health, wealth, wisdom, relationships and that the bad things were not intended to destroy me but to mature me and prepare me for my God given Purpose. My strength came from the teachings of Jesus Christ who revealed the heart of God for me. God is love and I am lcved
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing <3
Hi Swati, I’m enjoying your website! And I always look forward to your posts on FB. I have had deep bouts of sadness my whole life. There are a few things that always bring me back around to happiness-they are: playing with young children, and/or watching children be themselves, visiting with the elderly, being in nature, writing, art, music, and angel therapy. Another thing that helps me is talking with other people about spirituality. I do believe in God/Creator/a Higher Power, so in my loneliest moments I reach out to a Supreme Being. Lots of love, Sue
(((((Sue))))) That is beautiful! Thank you for sharing <3.
Hi..im glad to find you coz i nid to share my sadness to someone ho cud understand me…im stil in a deep sadness at d moment and coping wd it through reading posts but most of d time i juz looking at d ceiling thinking y things are hapenings ds way…
Dear Yannie,
You can either email me, or write here, whatever you feel comfortable doing ((((hugs)))).
Love,
Swati
I could be a poster child for traumatic losses and events. I would love to talk with you about how I was feeling, especially at first. IMF it could ever help,anyone else. I don’t know but there’s a reason that I’m compelled to write to you. My very best friend in the world ( my mom) died after a long fight with breast cancer. About 15 months later my second son was killed, 11 weeks to the day agpfter my son died, my father crashed into the mountains in his small plane. We waited until almost four whole days, wondering if he was injured, they were going to call the search off in just a few hours when they found him. We were told that he died on impact. And between the time that my mother &’father died, I lost every aunt and uncle except one. My sister calls it “the year her family died”.’
There’s too much to write in a note.
Please call me any time,
Sincerely,
Marni
Dear Marni,
I can’t even imagine how your family went through all of this. And yet, you are here…and inspiration to people that one can and does survive such unbelievable tragedies. Sending you much love (((((((hugs)))))))
Love,
Swati
I had strange experience I shared my self wid some one I didn’t know n I saw everything being published every sentence picturised that made me feel more low.its very difficult to find real friend ..soulmate is too far to think .
I understand. Sometimes we get so hurt that it’s hard to trust again. Give yourself time to heal. And trust that you will heal. <3
I have gone through a great deal of challenges and sadness that most people from the surface would not see that occurred. I had begun to feel broken and wounded inside. But, at a point in my depression, I made a conscious decision to push back. To counter bad things going on around me or to me with a more positive-focused mind and with love and service. It is not easy and often times I falter back into moments of negativity and ugly criticism. The important thing I learned is that happiness is inside me and no one else can truly make me happy but me. It doesn’t matter whether I am rich or poor, if I don’t have a content mind filled with temperance and hopeful attitude towards the present moment, I will not be a happy or good person. Here are a few quotes from a great book called Apples of Gold that can help others:
It isn’t the load that weighs us down….It’s the way we carry it.
Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.
Only one person in the whole wide world can defeat you and that is yourself.
A diamond is just a piece of coal that could handle the pressure.
Sometimes it takes the whole of life to learn just how to live. Do not be discouraged.
Peace is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it.
Hope these help.
I absolutely LOVED what you wrote and how you explained and expressed it Janea <3. Much love to you ((((hugs))))
Hi i ve suffured depression on and off since i was 18 i am now 49, iam interesed in the book apples of gold where can i get one?
Kelly, I don’t know where you can get it, but you could try Amazon.com. I hope you can heal your depression…I know it can be healed. Hugs, Swati
Dear Swati:
This is my first time actually making time for myself to read your Blogs. I have been through depression most of my life. I am so sad and I feel really lost at times when I am like this and I feel like I am sinking in a big black hole and I just don’t know how to stop it.
(((((Heather))))) I hope you did seek help. I have been through this too. I finally broke through. It is possible to be happy, but one needs to be vigilant about their thoughts, exercise, purposeful life and other things so one does not slip back. Did you seek help? You don’t need to suffer like this ((((hugs)))).
Neha, I am so sorry you are going through this experience. Have you tried doing EFT to reduce and then eliminate this emotional pain?
dear swati
what is EFT actually I could not find it here. . can you please advise.
thank you.
Neha, EFT is Emotional Freedom Technique. I am an EFT practitioner. You can find free info on EFT by googling it, or on youtube. If you are not able to find relief by doing it yourself, you could do a professional session with me or take the 4 session life coaching for overcoming the sadness and move on with your life over skype. The information for my life coaching sessions is in my website: https://www.swatinigam.com/tempflower/life-coaching/ In any case, whether you take the sessions with me, or do it yourself, please make sure you do move past the pain, so that you are open and free for better relationships. Much much much love to you beautiful Neha <3
my sweet swati
thank you very much
i will try doing it myself and i will see if i overcome the pain.
will update you
thanks a lot.
I wish you the best Neha. EFT is an amazing process, and within minutes you should feel the relief. Make sure you measure the “pain” rate before and after each round of EFT (each round takes about 2-3 minutes). And you will see the rate decrease. Measure rate from 0 to 10. Love, Swati
My dear Swati
hope you are fine.
i am going great.
Very happy to share this great news with you. I am getting married on the 20th Sep. Send me and Yashvan your blessings and prayers 🙂
love you 🙂
That is soooo awesome!!!! My good wishes are always with you! Congratulations!!! :-))))))
Thank you very much my dear Swati.. love you :)))
I have felt like that and still do at times. I have great friends that help me through so much. This site is wonderful for the short look I have just had.x
Thank you so much Janet for your kind words <3
I think what your doing is very important, very noble, and I’m going through depression and have been since I lost my son. I’ve lost my laughter, I feel abandoned by deaths and loved ones just not keeping in touch. I feel non-existent in my mind, I threw in the towel back in 2007.I feel your messages give others hope and everyone needs to feel that there is hope.
Oh Sherry….I am so sorry. Losing one’s child is unimaginable. I don’t have any words to assuage your pain. All I want to say is, that losing someone you love is horrible…and the only thing we should remember always is that painful as it is to lose them physically, they do exist. They are very real. They are living, not just poetically in our hearts, minds, and memories, but really. They see us, hear us, feel our emotions. When you talk to your son in your mind, he hears it all. And they hurt when we hurt here. Painful as it is, we must do our bit to honor their love for us, and our love for them…they want us to live, really live, and be happy. So talk to your son like he exists, because he does. Talk to him like he hears, because he does. They have have limitations in their help to us, and in their communication with us. Not because they are limited…but because we are limited in our physical bodies. So honor his love Sherry, and please do not make yourself non-existent. That will hurt him. Live for him. Honor him. Honor yourself. And we also need to remember, we will meet them again. And it will be a joyful re-union. I’m here if you want to talk.
Much love,
Swati
i am a woman in early twenties and single. At present i am not employed and I stay with my sister. Five years ago when i was in high school i met a friend and we were good classmate and friends also.At the end of our high school we didn’t really parted with good wishes. when i was in college too i didn’t enter in any relationships, though i wondered sometimes myself why. Now he is successful and doing well. All these years i have also felt guilty as well as anxious as why we didn’t parted well that time. i recently made friends with him in Facebook.I am afraid i am in love with him or i have always been in love with him. I tried to speak with him about our unsolved matter but he says he doesn’t remember. so i am stuck there, as i am not able to let it go. Back at that time i had liked him too so i wanted to know if he too had feelings back then but since he already said he didn’t remember how we parted ways, m helpless……………. could you tell me what i should do? i tried so hard to let go of the past matter and him also. But i failed and i am at my ends……….
Does he look interested in continuing friendship with you at all? Just because he doesn’t remember how you parted does not mean he might not be interested in being friends now. Let the past go. Stay here now in the present. How is he with you now? Can you renew your friendship with him? Think of falling in love later, when you have really got to know him again. It’s been sometime, people change. So if he is interested in being friends now, get to know him again. <3
hello swati
i want to delete this comment of mine? how do i proceed, thank you
Which one Neha?
This one below swati
*Actually im going through my divorce. The bad feelings I am experiencing about the divorce are lesser compared to ……………*
Done 🙂
Thank you very much swati 🙂