I’m starting a new series around “Improve Your Finances”. Every Wednesday I will give you a new exercise. Are you with me on this? 🙂
What are your beliefs & thoughts about money?
Do you happen to have a problematic relationship with money? You’re not alone if you do. In fact I used to have a really bad relationship with money. LOL! I have been working on my spiritual & self help business for long, but I used to always do everything for free. Yep, I didn’t earn a single penny.
Oh I didn’t like the fact that I didn’t earn. But did I do anything about it? Nope!
Would you like to know what my behavior with money was? 🙂 My beliefs, feelings, thoughts? 🙂
Here are a few:
1. Asking for money is being greedy (even if I worked for it).
2. Accepting money from anyone is being greedy (even if I worked hard for it).
3. Money is the cause of all kinds of problems.
4. I just cannot earn money.
5. One must never charge money for spiritual work (I didn’t wonder how people who did spiritual work full time pay their bills…neither do other people with this belief wonder. Maybe go beg? 😛 ).
6. Spiritual and good people do not think about money (yeah they live in Utopia, and their bills should get paid automatically without them ever knowing about money. haha!)
Here is how I behaved around money:
1. I don’t know how to manage money, so please can someone else handle it for me?? This is such a PAIN! I don’t like it!
2. I hate money talk. Yawn! Can we talk of something else?
3. If I go out to eat with friends I absolutely MUST pay for everyone. Always. It will be totally shameful if I let someone else pay for me.
My pre-conditioning with money:
My parents had a very hard time with money. We were comfortable, but just barely scraping through. Didn’t ever lack for the basics like just enough clothes, food, rental apartment etc. But they were under huge loans. They were always stressed about money. I do understand that I was still better off than many in the world. But the mentality I was brought up with was one of “lack”.
If you read everything above, you can see that I was doing everything possible to push money away from me. And yet I was surprised why I had money problems. 😀
Finally, I went around diligently changing my relationship with money by changing my mentality, my thoughts, beliefs, emotions, & limitations, through meditation, Law of Attraction, and EFT tapping.
And magic seemed to start happening in my life as a result.
Would you like to change your relationship with money and change your money patterns?
If you would like to go on an “Improving Finances Journey” with me, I’d like you to do this exercise with me this week:
EXERCISE FOR THIS WEEK: This week, notice what your own beliefs, thoughts, behavior, pattern, emotions, & childhood conditioning is about money. And then make a list. Actually add your comments under this article, so that I will know what your beliefs and patterns are that need to be changed.
Next week, I’ll start addressing how to change these limiting beliefs and patterns. So don’t forget to do your exercise for this week, and come back next Wednesday for the next part of this journey.
Ditto. Everything you said about your misguided relationship with money is also true for me.
Thank you Teresa. :-)))
I also have the same issues..had the bare necessities but I know my parents did without so I wouldnt…..
Yep, it looks like most people have very similar issues. 🙂 Thank you 🙂
Yes i grow up hearing the lack of money At one point i heated it cause it was the only thing my parents fought about. As i got older i realized that is need for bill. While living in New York i prosper trememdesly. But moving to miami Florida big mistake. Dont know why never enohgh not me not my daughter no my husband .also they loose there jobs very often . n what they are working on more is needed for our expenses.
That is my life story.
You too? :-))
Good people are not rich. Kind, caring, helping people are not rich. Business-minded people and people who have plenty of money are not kind, caring, helping people. Wanting money and material things is selfish and materialistic. Spirituality/Faith and abundance of money do not go together. Rich people are jerks. Nice people are not rich. You can have juuuust enough if you work hard and budget verrry carefully. But things will always be tight. (Wow, I had forgotten about these associations with money from childhood.)
….These were added in adulthood: I am lazy and spoiled. I don’t have it in me to earn a good living. I will always be dependent on someone else to provide for me. (Yuck. I do not actively “believe” these things, but in writing them out, I know they still operate.
Thank you for this. <>
These are all such good points Deborah! Where do you live? Would you like to work do a video with me on some of those points for the next blog to show how we clear these issues? 🙂
That would be amazing! I live in the US, in New England. You are welcome to email me directly and I can give you more detail or my phone and we could see what’s possible? Thank you, darling woman.
Wooohoooo!! That will be fun!! I’ll email you now, and you can feature on my next blog. You gave really interesting points for the money beliefs. And many will relate to those, so I think featuring you on my blog next week will be perfect. Thank you for doing this. I am in California :).
Also if I do work hard enough to earn my own living, I will end up exhausted, sick, and having little time for my children. 🙁 Oh my, I have some work to do here!
Yes, this was my self-sabotage reason for not wanting to be successful in my business — “I won’t have time for my family and kids”. 😀 Then I realized I can manifest a business where I have time for my family. 🙂 And then I saw many people were actually doing that…manifesting really successful businesses with a lot of leisure & vacation time. 🙂
Money is a thing I loathe. I know it is a nessicity. I am constantly pushing it away from me. Even tho I need it!!
Isn’t that funny Debbie? I used to do exactly that. And I know most people with money problems do this…they loathe it, and yet they need it (who doesn’t?), and yet they push it away. Can you tell me more about why you loathe it? Different people have different reasons. The most common ones are: “Money is the root of all evil”, and “Only greedy, materialistic, shallow people like money”. What are your reasons?
Hi Swati,
I agree with all the points you made, and can add a few more.
– Buying anything for yourself is selfish, but buying for others is fine. And it doesn’t matter how much you spend on someone else, it’s always ok.
– Yet, as a working mother, it’s OK to spend a little money on yourself. For instance, on your hair and nails. Otherwise, if it’s something you want, wait and ask for it as a gift.
– Never show how much you’re in debt. Always look and act like everything’s fine.
Pidge, I LOVE all the points you have made! How true each one is for so many of us :-). Thank you!
Yep. Same here. My single mother never had enough. She was an alcoholic and was always borrowing ‘to feed the children’ but we never saw the money. She spent it on alcohol. So it’s just …. a very funny relationship. When we did see any money come in it was for about a week after payday, and then there were 3 broke weeks till the next payday. So it was a feast or famine situation. Never enough never enough never enough.
And do you still feel the pattern of “no money” continuing in your life Gaelen? Hugs!
Hi
Yes I still have the same issues. I earn a good salary and I really should have enough, but I tend to sabotage myself either physically spending too much, or having a lack mentality, which obviously doesn’t help.
x
I also often feel guilty for spoiling myself or buying myself a dinner. I don’t mind spoiling others, but I get this horribly buyer’s remorse, and I don’t think that’s healthy at all.
You’re absolutely right :-). You should not feel that way. And in my next few write-ups in this series, I will address how to remove such feelings and beliefs. Hugs!
Be on a look out for the next in this series, as we will address these issues. Hugs!
Hi Swati.
My problem is that although I do earn money, I’m a spendthrift. Money never stays with me. And I can barely save 🙁
The other to add is:
– All rich people have gained money through ill/illegal ways. Hardworking people just have enough to survive.
– If you have money, the government will fleece you.
– Money is the dirt of your hands, here today gone tomorrow. (This was always drilled into us)
I work for my husband but I keep feeling as you say, if I went and got another job, I’d be neglecting my children.
Nina, those are all amazing points! I will be working with one of the people who replied on this blog post and she has similar problems. I will post the video in the next blog. Use it to work on your own beliefs so that you can heal your money problems.
So true Swati what you wrote in the beginning !! I never can ask people for money even though I paid others ! e.g. BOUGHT some stuff like shirts with typical indian art on it etc and DISTRIBUTED to co workers, a looong time back. everyone liked it and am sure I had a opportunity for a business there at that time but instead i just made an excuse to myself that “i dont have business mind so cant help it” that was just one example. I dont like my financial situation but I keep running away from it LOL
LOL! That is exactly how I used to feel. So I totally understand :-))).
Same as above and some more…The biggest thing that stuck “if you’re rich and have money like the Kennedy’s you’ll have tragedies”! I was growing up near Hyannis when the President was killed my dad was in the military and worked 2 other jobs and we still didn’t have enough.. It’s been a challenge to let go of that thought process. I did see that when we were most down and out, somehow, a small amount of money would arrive just in time to provide a short relief. As a child, I could see that to get money was to work multiple jobs and still not have enough, or inheriting and have deep sorrow or winning the lottery and spend it all frivolously… oh and if you were on welfare you still didn’t have enough and you didn’t feel good about yourself. When you get old you’ll have more money(that was a good one! 🙂 )… I had an awful time charging money for Reiki at the same time I was volunteering elsewhere and only felt better when I stopped altogether. I think now it was my issues w money holding me back. The last 3 people I provided attunements were free. Right now I’d have to be a massage therapist to get paid and I can’t volunteer publicly, so, I guess I’ve manifested that too! Why do I love Celebrity Apprentice and Shark Tank ??? Money Money Money!
Cynthia, please come meet me at my home. :-))) Would you like to schedule a session to get rid of you issues with charging money for Reiki? We can do it on live video too. Let me know.
I know this is a bit late, but these are a few of my beliefs: 1. You can work your fingers to the bone, be a good and honest person, but still barely get by. I joke about these two… 2. Money doesn’t like me. 3. Money runs from me. 4. I don’t have a good track record with money; I always mess it up.
Never too late Jasmine :). How about you watch the video in part 2 of this series, and clear your beliefs? Let me know how it goes.
Wow I have so many of the same ideas about money as do even down to my parents. I m grateful to you about the “getting paid” for spiritual work you definetly cleared that one for me . One big one that I have is that I do not feel worthy or deserving of money cause I have to work very very hard to earn it so I’m worthy if it (silly ) when I see it in writing I will finish my list and thank you blessed be : namaste
So glad it helped you Lili! Do read the part 2 of this series which I already posted last Wednesday, and see how you can clear your limiting beliefs..watch my video, and plug in your own belief to clear. Let me know how it goes 🙂
I was lucky my parents new how to save money and dads job didn pay much but always could afford things when i got married i was blessed caz if i got in a verybad bind i cud go th them but i didn unless no alternative but now here i find myself widowed and on ssi i draw 741@month i have juggled so much now this month BAM! But im lost i cant babysit cause i have lupus fog and can falk asleep… i loved working with the elderly and now lol my body is so ran downthey scared of hurting me….ive racked my brains im not gifted in any crafts ieven thought about renting out a room but i have met nuts and theifs so idk iftht tapping would help me in trying to bring more miney ib wen im on ssi ive been lucky ar times god has sent ppl to helo me on bills and it makes me feel bad n i dont want anymore help cazit hurts me tht i want to pay them back in some way but all i got to offer is my uncondional love ty for listening i love ur blog ur a very big help and good person swati so full of love forveach
Try the tapping anyway. What beliefs do you have that limit wealth? Maybe you can start with, “No matter what, my money situation cannot improve”. Or “Tapping will not help my money situation”. When you get rid of these two beliefs, let me know..and we can discuss other beliefs. Also do the wealth visualization I posted before.
My parients had money when I was growing up. I wanted for nothing. I do remember one Christmas my father was in between owning his own business. He was working construction to support our family. I wasn’t sure what happened. We were so broke my mother wrapped up her electric shaver so I would have a present to open. When I found out why she gave me her shaver I gave it back. As a tear ran down her check I said Merry Christmas mom. Don’t worry daddy is a hard worker. From that time on I new you had to work hard for money I got a job at 12 busing tables with my aunt. 50 cents an hour. I always tried to give my dad some money he told me no to keep my money things were fine now. If I wanted something extra my dad would pay half n I paid half My dad said if you want it bad enough and you work for it you’ll always take care of it. So I did. My whole life I buy and give to family n friends first. Even if I’m broke I’ll charge to give things to people. I’m always buying things that I think will make people happy. I’ve never had good finances because of my gift spending. I feel uncomfortable when people buy me things. I always wanted to pay for everybody. I’ve never had a savings account account. Now I’m getting an unwanted divorce after 25 yrs. broke ( husband has taken his and our money bought things opened up new accounts and hid all he could and were fighting in court over what we have left or I can find ) I’m finding it hard to fight for what’s mine and money that’s mine. When I’ve needed help now I have no one family or friends. . I have no one. I’m living on SS and still trying to help and buy for my family . I just can’t save a dime Im completely broke for 2-3 weeks before I get paid I need help desperately. When I actually get paid and I pay my bills I have anxiety attacks with how to have money until pay day. I run out and buy my personal needs n gas. Try n put money aside for gas till I get paid. Then I go crazy looking and worrying about money n what am I going to do. I’ve always been bailed out by my job or parients. How will I ever be able to take care of my self? I just want to give up.
Thank you for listening
Pam Ontjes
Dear Pam,
Thank you for writing. I have had very similar issues as you – that of over-giving. This is because of an imbalance in the chakras. Please read all my chakra articles, and do the balancing and clearing as given there. I have so far written about the root, sacral, and solar plexus chakra. I write them every Friday. I will be writing again on next Friday on the Heart chakra. Please do daily chakra clearing and balancing meditation. And read my next article in the Wednesday wealth series after this one where you have commented, and learn how to clear your damaging money patterns and beliefs with EFT tapping (I have a video there). You will be just fine if you decide to clear out all the things that are causing you financial trouble.
Hugs,
Swati
Yes I might hv huge belief date my parents nd husband don’t hv enough amount to spend on me
Fear about debts n tension too
Can’t ignore dat tention
So not able face social life nd friends
I m from strict fly nd possessive husband not allowed to go out
Event hough after 2005 I didnt earn a signal peny
So lack of confidant. ..bt after spirituality I get my confidance back n started earning through spirituality…n I lv dat