It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.
~ Maya Angelou
Why should you forgive? After all whatever he/she/they did was not worth pardoning. They deserve your lifelong anger and hatred, don’t they?
Here’s the thing: They did this horrible thing to you. And then you burn in anger and hatred for the rest of your life…meanwhile they are busy enjoying their lives. Who is the one who is really suffering? You. Why would you want to punish yourself with emotional pain, and then illness etc as a result of the emotional pain? It was the other person who made the mistake, right? Why must you punish yourself?
Emotions like anger, grudges, hatred, unforgiveness give birth to a variety of illnesses. It also comes in the way of your success, your happiness. It comes in the way of your own life. Do you really want that?
What forgiveness does not mean: Forgiveness does not mean you need to go hug that person. You don’t need to even send “I love you” notes to them. No need to send flowers either. And no, you don’t need to socialize with them if you don’t want to. For that matter, if you want to remove them from your lives completely, please do so. Because sometimes you need to walk away.
Of course, if you wish to do any of the above — hug, socialize, send flowers etc, go ahead and do it. All I’m saying is, you don’t need to. Forgiveness is something else altogether.
What is forgiveness?
Above all, forgiveness means, you let go of the situation, no strings attached. You let go in such a way that it stops hurting you. THIS is the most important thing.
You stop letting it hurt you. You REFUSE to let someone else’s bad behavior or mistakes hurt you or anger you or affect you anymore, in anyway.
You set yourself free of that situation.
You decide that you will be happy and not let this ruin your life, mood, health, other relationships, happiness, career, or life.
You let go of all your internal dialogues with them where you are forever showing them how wrong they are.
You let go of plans to seek revenge. Because that is a never ending cycle. You seek revenge. They will even out with you. Then you even out with them. Then they will…you get the idea, right?
You let go of wanting bad things to happen to them. Because when you feel such strong emotions for them, you are tying yourself to them. Is that what you really want?
And sometimes, the forgiveness even patches things up between you and them. Of course, that is entirely up to you — do you want to patch up with them or do you want to let go? Sometimes you want things to get better between you two, and sometimes you know that letting go of them and walking away is the best thing you can do.
Additionally, if you can wish them well, and send them love energetically through prayers, you are truly ending this situation.
So I hear you says — Yeah, all that is great, but I feel this emotion so strongly, how CAN I forgive? I want to forgive…but I do not know how to.
There are many ways to forgive:
1. Meditate and bring yourself to a calm place & send them love as energy: If you have a favorite meditation, do that, or else, you could search “meditate” in the search box of my blog, and find my articles on how to meditate. When you are feeling calm, send those people love. Love & hatred cannot co-exist. It will take time. You will need to do it again and again. It eventually takes the sting away, and you can move on with your life.
2. Temple of Heart Meditation: This is a meditation I created with the help of Archangel Michael, and it works very well. I will be talking about it in more detail in the next blog post, as I wish to give all the steps to it. But in short, you talk soul to soul with this person. Tell the person all you want to say (in your mind) – the good, the bad, the ugly. Leave no stone unturned. When you feel you are done, and there is nothing else you can say, you forgive the person, and ask the person to forgive you even if you did nothing wrong. Then you send love to them. And then ask Archangel Michael to cut cords between you two. Finally, let them go. Do this everyday for a few days, and you will reach a point when you feel like all that really does not matter to you anymore. And you will not feel like saying anything anymore. You will feel it is not important anymore. After this, either those people walk out of your life, leaving you in peace, or your relationship heals. My next blog post will be about this meditation. It is important as it ends the karmic challenges between you and the other person.
3. Write a letter to them which you will never send: Pour your heart out to them in this letter. Write all that you can. Pour out your anger there. Cry as much as you want to. Do not try to be nice or correct. The point is to actually express your anger FULLY. At some point during the writing, you might even feel the anger rise so much that you will feel monstrous. Do not worry. Just continue. It is right after this “monster phase” that the healing will take place. After a while you will feel “done”. Like you have taken out all the poison from within you. Burn the letter then, and release it all to the Divine. You will feel a lot lighter. You will actually feel like a weight has been lifted. Try it. And if you feel the anger return, repeat the exercise.
4. EFT Tapping: This is my all time favorite tool. EFT means “Emotional Freedom Technique”. And this tool is very effective in doing just that. I will be writing about this process of forgiving in another blog post. Next Tuesday I’ll write about the “Temple of Heart” meditation, and I’ll write about “EFT for forgiveness” the Tuesday after that.
Do you wish to volunteer and work on forgiving someone on a video with me? I will lead you through this process, and will record the whole thing. I will then post it with “EFT for Forgiveness” blog post. If this is alright with you, please let me know in the comment section.
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