NOTE: Medical conditions need to get a medical doctor’s attention. That said, I have created this predominantly happy state of mind from being seriously depressed for years. I wanted to end my life many times. Yet, I did this for myself using just the theory and tips I give here. I do not say you should give up your anti-depressants etc. Different things work for different people. What I am saying is, do all of this WITH everything your doctor tells you – clinical depression must not be taken lightly. And along with your doctor’s help, experiment with the tips I give you. They will not hurt :-).
People often ask on my Facebook page — How to be happy? When will my life change? When will I get happy? When will things happen that will make me happy?
Most people have read about the Law of Attraction — tried it half-heartedly, or inconsistently, or incorrectly. Things did not work. They said the Law of Attraction does not work. And then moved on with their regular sad thinking patterns. Life did not change. They were not any happier. End of story.
Yes, I did exactly that too. It didn’t work, I gave up.
Except, when finally I decided to NOT give up. :-).
You see, we humans are programmed to think negatively. No it is not because we are lowly evil creatures who can think nothing but the “bad”. 🙂 We are beautiful beings, created by a Beautiful Creator, who has given us this playground called “earth” where we have been given free-will and the power to create and evolve as souls. So why are we programmed to think negatively? This is why:
This programming is handed to us from ages before us, when we used to be primitive humans. And even long after that. Danger lurked in every corner. You never knew when a tiger would come make a tasty snack out of you. So you needed to ALWAYS focus on danger. You needed to be focused on all that could go wrong, because things could go wrong easily, and they often did. Ask a deer being chased by a tiger. That’s how we lived for ages. We did not have protection against the natural elements either. No clothes, no homes, no heating, no air conditioning, no lights, no fan, no bed. No nothing. So we needed to always be alert of what could hurt us. This is how we survived. And that programming went on forever.
In this day and age we are not always in danger. Oh yes, danger lurks, but for the most part of life, most of us are leading very safe, boring (phew!) lives. We don’t need to be focused on danger or what could go wrong in our lives. Yet, now we are programmed for it. No tiger is going to eat you up at this very moment. Most probably nothing bad us happening to you at this VERY moment. No one has you at gun point. A nuclear war hasn’t started. You are not in the process of getting thrown out of your house (you wouldn’t be sitting and reading this if you were).
Yes, of course, all those things you are stressing about — they might happen in the future. Maybe in the very near future even. Yet, it is not happening right now. And the future is not written in stone. Seriously. Things can change. You can change them.
So here is what I did, and here is what worked for me.
I started to experiment with changing my life and my state of happiness. I thought — Law of Attraction says that “what I dwell upon, grows”, that my state of mind draws to itself experiences that continue that state of mind. So basically, if I am busy thinking and dwelling on sad emotions, I will draw more experiences to me that will make me sad. If I consciously think, speak, do things that make me even a bit happy…and I make a habit of it, life will rearrange itself, so that I will draw into my life experiences that will make me happier. And no, I didn’t just accept this theory blindly. Just because I cannot. I have a strong logical mind that needs to be satisfied. But I also thankfully have a very curious mind, and I like to experiment. So I experimented for a few months till it became second nature to me to think lovely thoughts.
What I ask of you is not blind faith. All I ask is, experiment with an open mind and heart. Experiment whole-heartedly. Give it your 100%. Can you do that?
Alright! Now that I have you on board, let us do the following:
1. Make it your mission to observe yourself and ask yourself every now and then, “How am I feeling? Happy? Crappy? Whatever?”. If your answer is “happy”, all is well. If your answer is “crappy/whatever/scared/bored/blah”, then ask yourself, “Hmmm…what have I been thinking about? What events, thoughts, people etc am I dwelling on?”. Then, consciously and deliberately change your focus to something that makes you even a tiny bit happy. Dwell on it…enjoy it. Then reach for another thought that is even happier. And so on. Basically be VERY diligent about your emotions and thoughts. First track your emotion, and then the causing thought. Then change the thought/focus to a happier one. Even if you need to watch a silly funny movie, do it. Whatever it takes to take your focus on to something happy and fun – do it. Make this a habit. I used to think it would be tiresome. But actually it turned out very pleasant!
Example: Today I noticed I was feeling crappy. What was a focusing on? Two years back someone did something to me that made me hopping mad, and very hurt. They did things that have ruined many things for me. So I was hopping even now. Madly even. Waste of time. I quickly looked around to find a little thing that I loved/liked. And there was my kitten, chasing some invisible thing. He looked so cute!! And just so adorable!! He tugs at my heartstrings so powerfully that no negative thought can stand in it’s way. Oh…and that Rainbow Chard I am growing in my backyard. It looks so healthy, healthful. My beautiful kitchen garden – fully organic, home-grown. That makes me happy too. This is my present moment. Not what those people did. And with that, my emotions changed to happy from crappy.
2. Start to notice little things that are nice, sweet, cute, pretty, funny, happy. Most of us move through our lives like zombies…going from one problem to another. Let us stop that. Let us now deliberately…very deliberately start noticing the really little things – eg. someone opened the door for you — wasn’t that kind and considerate of them? That little wildflower on the side of the road. The funny kitten. A silly funny kid. The green hills. Something yum you ate. If you start to notice deliberately, you will see that such tiny sweet things are scattered all over your day. You just did not notice before. I am not trying to make you a saint. Just trying to help you train your brain to look for the “happy” instead of the “sad”.
3. Do short bursts of easy 5 minute meditations every now and then through the day, especially when you feel stressed. And please do not levitate. OK, I take that back. Levitate if it makes you happy :-P. But levitating is not mandatory. You can try this meditation: https://www.swatinigam.com/meditate-part-1/
4. Do EFT tapping for stress relief, or whatever is bugging you. Do it at least 10 minutes everyday. You will see a remarkable change in you within a few days. Look out for my upcoming free webinars where I will teach you EFT tips you can do yourself.
These 4 steps are not too difficult, are they? They worked for me. So this is what happened to my world when I got to a predominantly happy/peaceful state of mind: My world seemed to start to rearrange itself bringing me more experiences that were happy or peaceful. It actually worked!! :-)))))))
Besides, tell me, when are you more likely to find a solution to a problem? When you are running away from a tiger, or when relaxing cozily on a couch with a happy mind? So, get your mind trained to not be stressed or to think of sad stuff. Train your mind to be happy and relaxed – you will find creative solutions to your problems. First – BE HAPPY 😀
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I enjoyed reading your article very much
Swati Nigam says
Thank you :-)))
Yes, yes and yes! I am so depressed about being depressed that I will try anything to give my mind and my soul a nano second of peace. I am on board and all in. Thanks for sharing your story and offering a gleamed of hope that I might be able to eventually turn this around.
Swati Nigam says
You can, and you will Teresa <3. And if you want to have one on one life coaching sessions with me to help you in your journey, let me know. It is my passion to help people with sadness. We help best with things we have faced and conquered. You can do this Teresa. Hugs!
Thanks!! And congratulations!! For no giving up and be here for us, for taking your life-mission “seriously” being happier and wise. And, just to remark..it is not a long text, it feels easy to read and follow, ..well, I didn’t get tired on the way, but it was a pleasure.
Swati Nigam says
Thank you Lydia :-))))))
Oh my goodness Swati. I’ve been going through an awful time of late but reading your article it seemed like you had written it just for me! It made me realize I’m rehashing old hurts and pain as well as the problems Im trying to cope with now. It’s made me feel so much better already by turning that tiger into a kitten.
Swati Nigam says
(((((Christine))))) I hope you feel better soon! Hugs!
This was a great one for me to read today.
I had a series of negative news piled one on top of oneanother this morning which dropped me into quite a flunk! It was really helpful reading this (& it was shorter & more maneagable than I anticipated). You refered to alot of aspects I have read of before but being human it was wonderful to see them grouped altogether & the inspiration to give it another shot was so welcome.
Thankyou Swati for opening up to help others get through what you know about yourself. Feeling like you are the only one screwing things up is a lonely place to be – & you call to us from the outside of the pit ;o)
Swati Nigam says
(((((Candida))))), never feel alone in this, even though sadness, depression etc can make us feel really lonely. Know that many people battle this on a daily basis, and often they don’t even recognize the symptoms and just think, “Life sucks”. I’m so glad you are taking steps to heal yourself. Hugs!
Martha Reed says
I am so glad to have found you. I will work on retraining my brain and seeing beauty not pain. I will paint,draw and create my art. I will deliberately see and feel the beauty around me. I am so grateful for your help
Swati Nigam says
I’m so happy you will do this. Keep coming back to read this again, so you stay on track. Hugs!
Loved this read Swati! I am forever examining my life introspectively and tweaking it to make it more positive and fulfilling. Your article was helpful and inspiring!
Swati Nigam says
Thank you Kay <3 😀