All these plentiful years of my life I wondered how to be happy. Oh I laugh a lot. But somehow the joy inside was dying bit by bit. Not that I have more woes or troubles than any other average person…so why was the pain now even showing on my face? I could see the drooping corners of the mouth. When you see that etched on someone’s face, you know they have experienced a lot of pain. So did I really experience that much more pain that the rest?
I believe we all have more or less the same number of problems. This is life, and things will spring upon us. Yes, I certainly do have plenty of troubles. But nothing more than the people next door I am sure :-).
I have read this and heard this again and again: “Decide to be happy, and you will be happy”. Or “Choose happy thoughts”. You must have heard many of these too. And I believed in them all. So why wasn’t I following it?
Finally I decided to actually, consciously DO this. After all, I can’t say something does not work unless I give it my 100% shot :-). And that’s what I’ve been doing. I decided I am happy. No matter how things look in my external world. Not going to list all my troubles here, because this blog post is not about that. Its about what I am doing despite the troubles I have.
Thoughts really actually DO make a huge difference. Surprise!! LOL! So anytime I start to feel off, I immediately focus on — what on earth am I thinking about? And of course…I would find myself invariably dwelling on thoughts that were upsetting me. I then consciously change my thoughts and start thinking of something better, happier. Sometimes, it is just as simple as telling my racing mind (some fast and furious imaginary conversation in my mind), “Shhhhhh…..quiet”. And then if I must think, I consciously repeat in my mind something like Om, or peace or just sing a song in my mind. Basically I am watchful of my thoughts…as I am learning to watch what I eat :-). I used to think it would be tiresome to police my thoughts this way. But surprisingly it is not. And each day it gets easier.
Try it for yourself for at least 3-4 days before you give up on this. But make sure you really DO watch your thoughts and do not let your mind dwell upon thoughts that make you sad. A sad mind is not going to help you solve any problems. Only a happy, calm one does. So keep that in mind before you think — but I have so many problems…how can I not think of them?
And what am I noticing as a result of what I am doing? The first thing I noticed was that I was actually calmer, happier…even though everything around me remained the same as before. Then it gets better! Great things have started to happen in my life. My kids are achieving things that are making me so proud! Some old paperwork problems for legal work are all getting sorted as if by magic. Hubby is happy at work (phew!!!!), and does not look stressed (PHEW!!!!). I’m having a great time doing 2 courses (I love learning and growing): Life coaching with Tony Robbins, and an Interior Designing course. I am actually able to eat properly and only when I am hungry. I am not overeating anymore…and that is huge! I am losing weight. Yayyy!! And I’ve been doing all this only from the past month or so. Already so many changes in my life as a result. However, I shall not again make the mistake of being happy only because good things are happening. I am happy…because I decided so, because I choose every moment to be happy.
So they are right when they say — your internal emotional status shapes your external world. I know it now through experience, and not saying it because I read it in a famous author’s book.
I would love it it you too experimented with this and saw for yourself through your own experience how true this is.
It reminds me of something Anita Moorjani said in her book, “Dying to Be Me”. When I read it, I loved it. But its only now that I am practicing it and seeing that she is right! This is what she said: “If things seemed challenging, instead of trying to change them physically, I began checking in with my internal world. If I am stressed, anxious, unhappy, or something similar, I go inward and tend to that first. I sit with myself, walk in nature, or listen to music until I get to a centered place where I feel calm and collected. I noticed that when I do so, my external world also changes, and many of the obstacles just fall away without my actually doing anything“.
So give this a good shot with 100% sincerity and then come back and tell me if it worked for you or not.
Much joy to you,
Vivek Mantri says
Excellent Article Madam
Swati Nigam says
Thank you Vivek!
I am working on that.. thank you swati
love and light
Swati Nigam says
And you will succeed Neha <3